Dear Friends,

Yesterday, I wrote a very loud, angry, and defensive post about a possible hair choice for my daughter and myself. In hindsight, that might have been a bad idea. What I wrote still holds true as an emotional response, but it is not okay to attack friends in cyberspace (or in real life, for that matter).

It sort of boils down to this: I’m really bad at saying, “Hey, that hurt.” I cover the hurt with anger, and I do anger loudly and viciously. It’s a defense mechanism. It was incredibly hard to swallow all those pills from friends that responded very negatively in their 420 words (or less) of response, especially when the very weighted context of “this is something hair-related that I can do with my hair-challenged-because-of-her-race daughter” was completely cut out of the picture. So I didn’t swallow it; I projectile vomited it all over the internet. But I can fully acknowledge that the “f*@! yous” that come out can be just as hurtful, especially when shouted in a very public forum. And so today, I need to just as loudly and just as publicly acknowledge that although the conversation might have stirred up some good self-reflection, the vehicle was limiting and also may have caused some hurt, particularly since the folks I was admonishing are people I call “friend.”

So friends, please forgive me for venting and publicly bashing you. Know that I still think you are amazing individuals. Your reaction to yesterday’s status clearly didn’t sit well with me, but I think nothing less of you as the super awesome people you are.



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